Anger and Resentments… Gratitude

We’ve all been there..

So I just wrote the greatest masterpiece of my life. (not really) I’ve probably never written anything that great before and I probably never will again! (sure I will) This is the one that will be considered the new standard in literary greatness! (yeah right)

Wait, what just happened… where did it go? What did I do? It was just here.. PLEASE tell me I saved it.. WHAT? I didn’t? I always do! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

It’s gone.. I got in the zone and didn’t save as I went.. How could this happen.. I spent almost an hour on this! I can’t do this again. I’M SO *%&#$@ MAD NOW!!!

First I was angry that all my work disappeared.

Second I got mad at myself for not saving my work. I even almost cried.

I was angry and resentful at my computer. Then at myself again. I called myself stupid and a lot of other names that I won’t repeat here.

In the past this would’ve ruined my whole day. Maybe even my whole week, but ever since I’ve been practicing gratitude, mindfulness, and deep breathing, and a spiritual program of recovery, I now have the tools to be able to let it go and learn from the experience.

I remembered something a dear friend of mine told me one time when I was going on and on feeling bad about myself and calling myself names. She said to me, “I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t talk to my friend like that.” Her friend was me! I understood what she was saying and every time I start getting in that self deprecating mode I remember what she said to me.

Then I paused and thought about what had just happened and what I could learn from it.

Then I was grateful that I had that learning opportunity, one that will never need to be repeated.

I will sleep well tonight and not go to bed angry or hating myself. I am human. I made a mistake. No one died and the world didn’t end.

By practicing appreciation and gratitude for what I do have my mood quickly changed and I have re-centered myself.

It takes a lot of work but it gets easier with time and practice.

~Thanks for reading

LC

Set Yourself Up for Success

The best way I’ve found to set up my day for success is found in my morning routine. After I make my coffee (first things first haha..), I think about the day ahead, what needs to be done when, and set my priorities.

I make a list of things and/or people I’m grateful for. This helps to keep me balanced and humble rather that resentful towards things I don’t have and people I don’t particularly care for.

I remind myself that things don’t always go as planned and tell myself to be ready to adapt to any changes that might arise.

I make sure I eat something. Healthy is best, but in a time crunch that’s not always an option. As long as I have something in my stomach to keep me from getting “hangry”, I can make it until I have time to prepare something better.

I get still and quiet, and practice deep breathing and meditation for 8 minutes, where I try to clear my mind and bring myself back to center. This was very difficult when I first started out. My mind would still be racing after the full 8 minutes, but after a lot of practice it got easier to calm my mind. If I don’t have time for the full 8 minutes I do less, but I do a minimum of 10 full deep breaths where I focus solely on my breath, the flow of air in and out. I find when I do this I have a much easier time with the things that go wrong during the day.

I also remind myself to pause if I become irritated. I remind myself that I can restart my day at any time. I try to work with things rather than against them. When I try to force my will upon situations rather than adapt to them it always leads to a bad day.

I remind myself to be kind to everyone even if I think they don’t deserve it. I remind myself to think of others and to be helpful rather than selfish and self-centered.

What can I do for others? What can I pack into the stream of life?

I look at where I went wrong the day before and try to take corrective measures to amend that behavior. This takes a lot of practice..

I remind myself that it’s ok to not be perfect. Not just for myself, but other people too. This also takes a lot of practice..

I don’t dwell on worry or remorse. When I do I’m not useful to others. I try to focus on the next indicated thing.

I remind myself to not dwell on fear but to direct my attention to love, tolerance, and acceptance.

When I do all these things I set myself up for success and even if my day doesn’t go as planned, it’s still a good day.

And lastly, I remind myself that a great attitude becomes a great mood. Which becomes a great day. Which becomes a great year. Which becomes a great life.

~Thanks for reading,

Humility, Why is it Important For a Healthful Life?

The Cambridge English Dictionary defines humility as “the feeling or attitude that you have no special importance that makes you better than others; lack of pride“.

When we can recognize other people’s value as well as our own while keeping our heads up, and we can achieve a practical recognition of our weaknesses as well as our strengths, we have achieved sincere humility.

My recovery has taught me a lot about humility in that I, in fact, had absolutely none when I thought I did. I have learned that humility is the opposite of self-righteousness, ego, pride, and self-esteem. While I feel it’s important to have a little bit of these qualities, humility helps keep them from getting out of control and helps to keep me “right-sized”.

Having some humility has helped me a lot in being able to go with the flow of life, rather than constantly trying to battle to get things to go my way. It makes no difference in the grande scheme of things whether or not my way is right or not. This was a very tough pill for me to swallow, but I was finally able to do it.

Humility keeps me human.

Humility has given me more freedom to enjoy life on life’s terms. Not mine. This in turn opens me up to be able to be more helpful to others, which in turn helps make my life better.

Humility has given me the ability to forgive myself for not being perfect and to be comfortable in my own skin. I’m also more forgiving of others which has helped heal and strengthen my relationships with other people. We are all here on this earth together. I’ve found that it’s much easier to get along with people in spite of our differences than it is to try to change other people to suit me.

Holding on to grudges and hate was slowly killing me. I see that now. Gratitude, forgiveness, appreciation, compassion, and acceptance serve me much better than excuses, blame, being mean spirited, holding a grudge, or being right just to be right ever did.

And I owe it all to humility.

~Thanks for reading – LC

Living Life on Life’s Terms – My New Reality

I’m not an athlete anymore.
I don’t have the picture perfect body of a model.
I make mistakes every day.
I don’t always eat right.
Sometimes I talk too much.
Sometimes I don’t talk enough.
I’m not really smart.
I’m not always comfortable with other people.

~~But~~… And…

I’m active every day and exercise when I can.
I’ve learned to accept my body.
I learn from my mistakes.
I eat healthy, but indulge myself from time to time.
I compliment people and lift them up.
If I don’t have anything nice to say, I keep my mouth shut.
I’m always learning.
I’m comfortable in my own skin.

No one can keep me down but me.

When I’m helpful and of service to other people, my life gets better.

When I stop fighting everything and everyone, and practice acceptance and gratitude, my life gets better.

When I give up control, I get set free.

I don’t have to be the best of the best to have a place in the world. I don’t have to be on top of the heap.

I don’t have to let life get me down, especially over things I can’t control. I don’t have to be at the bottom of the heap.

I can live my life, and be a worker among workers, and a friend among friends, right here in the middle of the heap.

The world goes on without me. It doesn’t need my negative input. I get an amazing sense of comfort and freedom in that realization.

My life has gotten better.

~Thanks for reading – LC

Willingness

Lack of willingness held me back for so long I really don’t know how I made it this far. I always had to have my way in order to be happy, and I didn’t know how to live life on life’s terms. I had to live life on my terms. I didn’t know there was any other way. I wasted so much of my life trying to manipulate people and situations to suit my own agenda. I was constantly struggling and fighting against the flow instead of working with it.

I just wasn’t willing to do the right thing. I wasn’t willing to be helpful to others. I wasn’t willing to do what it would’ve taken to make my life better because I thought it would be easier to try and change everyone and everything else.

I was dead wrong.

After becoming so sick and tired of being frustrated and angry all the time, somehow I finally managed to find the willingness to begin to transform my sick and selfish mind. I became willing to live in joy, to love and be loved. I became willing to let people in and to let people help me. I didn’t fight anymore. I became willing to take suggestions. I became willing to take into account other people’s points of view.

I became willing to do the work it was going to take to turn my life around. It hasn’t been easy, but it’s been well worth it. And even though it hasn’t been easy, it’s been a whole lot easier than trying to fight and manipulate and argue my way through.

Before I could change my mindset, I had to become willing to change. I had to be willing to be honest with myself and others.

I had to become willing to do things I didn’t really want to do, but that I knew would good in the long run. I had to be willing to stop taking the easy way out to have things become easier in the long run.

I had to experience a lot of pain to get to the point of becoming willing. I caused a lot of pain too, and now I am willing to make amends for it.

I don’t know where I’d be right now if I hadn’t found the willingness to change, but I know it would be in a much darker, worse place than I am right now.

~Thanks for reading – LC

Meditation and Breathing Practices

silhouette of women on lake against sky — Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Meditation and breathing practices are a good way to begin building your awareness of the body and mind to begin the transformation into a healthier, more positive you. Focusing on breathing helps you be in the present as opposed to dwelling on the past, or worrying about the future.

Mind/Body Connection

Interconnected and interrelated are the heart, mind, and instincts. I know when I get stressed my body gets tense and I’m uncomfortable, disturbed. This then sets off a chain reaction that finally culminates in bad eating habits, frustration, and bursts of anger. Once I realize this is happening, I focus on my breathing, my heart lightens, and I begin to relax a little.

Our breathing is connected to our emotions. We breathe differently when we become emotional. Once you become aware of your breathing, you can better control your emotions.

Being aware of my breathing is what helps me successfully make it through my day. It’s something I have to practice daily. When I practice relaxation and breathing it eventually becomes second nature. Bring the body and the mind will follow. I believe the opposite to be true as well. Since they are related, it would only make sense that if you bring presence of mind, the body will follow, too.

Healthy mind, healthy body = healthy body, healthy mind. Just work on whichever part is easiest, and with enough devotion the rest will fall in line.

Breathing Practices

Why practice breathing?

Clear the mind
Distracting thoughts subside
Experience inner peace and relaxation
Feel refreshed

So much of our stress and tension comes from the mind. When the mind stills, happiness and contentment arises.

The benefits of practicing breathing can ultimately be one of the greatest things you can do for your body, soul, and peace of mind. We can connect to our emotions through our breath. Since our emotions make us breathe differently it makes sense that we could control our emotions through breathing.

To elevate your presence of mind, become fully aware, and engage in the present moment, I practice regulating my breath. This helps me be present, or, “all the way there” when dealing with other people and situations in which I need to a part of. I’m easily distracted and my mind wanders a lot, which makes it difficult for me to engage in the present moment. Once my mind is right, my body soon follows. I’m then able to be of maximum service and fully present.

For more information on different types of breathing practices check out:

“Breathing Practices and Pranayama in Yoga”

and

“6 Breathing Exercises to Relax in 10 Minutes or Less“.

Meditation

Why meditate?

To learn how to calm yourself when difficult situations arise
To achieve mental calm and peacefulness
To overcome external circumstances that distract from a feeling of “undisturbed”
Mental balance
Ability to control your mind

I’ve found, for me, the simplest and safest way to achieve balance in both my emotional and physical states, is through meditation, not medication. I don’t like pills and I don’t think it’s right for me to have to depend on them for my sense of well being.

My mental state has dramatically improved since I began practicing meditation and breathing exercises. It helps me to get my mind prepared and ready to tackle the day, and to be able to deal with any irritations that happen on a daily basis.

I highly recommend practicing meditation for at least 8 minutes a day for a life that knows peace and comprehends serenity. For more information, check out this article about the positive effects of meditation.

Take care of yourself and respect yourself. Give yourself every advantage you possibly can. It’s a scary world out there but it doesn’t have to get you down! Stay positive and invest in yourself!